Fine. Fine. Fine. I?ll keep writing.
I just can?t keep writing the novel. I reached the place where I couldn?t handle the emotional level the story took and, as a writer I?ve not experienced this before. Not this strong anyway and I tried to just change the direction but the story itself is possessed by a creative force I don?t feel full control over. It?s like as soon as I began it said, ?NO.? I attempted to push through the difficulty of continuing the writing process but my mind went blank. I mean like stark white nothing there blank. Overall, I?ve been unable to progress the storyline of the novel since day 4, though believe me I have tried.
I?m taking this ?failure? and spinning it positive this way: the holidays are coming and I?ve got three awesome kiddies my husband and I need to tend to who are more important and thus writing can wait. It may be a super co-out justification ? you know, ?I choose family over writing a book? ? but in the scope of it all, I do.
In all that I have to say, to express, to emulate, to pour out from my soul, none of it has a damn bit of importance if in the end my children don?t walk away into the real world without great memories of home and family. Last year our holidays were dampened by expat-transition difficulties. My oldest has only four more Christmas seasons before she?s a legal adult. Writing a novel can wait, I realize. I want to enjoy this holiday season and I need more time for the family, the domestic stuff, the Mrs. Santa workings which need that extra time I?m devoting to writing something which has left me so unexpectedly. Rather than pout, I?ve started watching Christmas movies with my 6 y/o.
With writing for Nanowrimo, I?ve also been making home made family album books for Christmas gifts to give out, each with about 600+ photos (what do you expect when you marry two photographers together and give them three kids, Europe and digital cameras?!) As I work on them sparingly through the day i think, what the hell am I doing focusing on writing when it?s not really a project that is filling my soul with happiness. It is silly to continue.
I?ve been rushing through the photos and album layouts ?just to get them done?. Last year I savored the process and there was a lot of joy in it and the final outcome was awesome so, such is that. I?m having fun working on the family album and I?m dealing with stress writing. There is a no-brainer here: family over novel writing.
I will, however, continue to write more than laundry lists. So, I?m not quitting. I?m choosing a different road.
Source: http://vontauber.wordpress.com/2012/11/14/writing-oh-fine-i-quit-quitting/
nick santino bruce arians the misfits hook troy miracle andy whitfield
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